It's A Small World, But Not THAT Small

Setting: Family chain restaurant, c. 1990, predominantly white suburb in the Midwest

Characters:  Myself (19 years old) and well meaning white couple, approximately 50 years old

 ***

"Hello, my name is Paula and I'll be your server today.  May I bring you anything to drink right away?"

"Hi there."  Stares curiously at me.  Tell me, dear, by any chance are you a Korean?"

"Yes I am." 

"Are you adopted?"

"Yes, ma'am."  (Oh help me, where is this going?)

"By any chance do you know Steve?"

"Steve?"

"Yes, Steve.  I believe he's a Korean and adopted as well.  Our friends got him a while ago."

"No, I'm sorry I don't."

"Are you sure?  Because he's a Korean.  And adopted.  Like you."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I know who he is."

"Really?  Because he looks just like you, with black hair and eyes like yours and everything."

"Oh."

Woman is becoming a little exasperated.  "Are you sure you don't know him?  His name is Steve."

I look around and smile nervously.  "Umm, may I please take your order?"

Comments

[Margie]

Exasperating to say the least, but much more for you than her.

"Our friends got him a while ago." People just don't think about what comes out of their mouths.

[Psychobabbler]

I don't know whether to laugh, groan or cry. The best of fiction writers couldn't make this stuff up if they tried.

[Tonggu Momma]

If I follow her logic, then I should totally know everyone in the world with a big nose. Yep, Tom Cruise and Jennifer Grey and I are this *fingers crossed* close.

I'm sorry. People just don't think.

[Jae Ran]

Oh come on, of COURSE you know all 200,000 Korean children who were adopted since 1950!

;-)

[D]

This ranks right up there along with conversations that go like this:

"Where are you from?"

"Korea."

"Oh really? My friend is from China. You guys should meet!" OR "My relative fought in the Korean War."

[essie]

I hate to say this...but as an adopted white kid...I got the normal adoption questions, why is your hair red...blah blah blah...and i Learn from this blog, and I read it faithfully, but I am so totatly appalled by what comes out of people's mouths.

I am a white adoptive parent, and my kids are Chinese, and we go to Chinese classes,and just dance, and acro, and they go to a school with a predominately white group of kids...but when comments are made they are usually positive, not rude, nor nasty. When they are, I give the look, and they usually shut it down pretty quickly...but wow...is this part of the US a really negative area? Beause I see interest in my children, but not much negativity...and yes, usually not so many outward stupid and dumb remarks. Some, but honestly, they come from those we know best, not strangers.

[Elizabeth]

sometimes my only goal in life is to avoid doing something stupid that gets me called "well meaning white person".
Sheesh.

[Christy]

Oh. My. Goodness! I can't believe people are so ridiculous. I agree that I don't know whether to laugh or cry. That's horrible!