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January 31, 2010



So hard to know the right thing to do. Thinking of you and wishing you the best

Tonggu Momma

My cousin does not want to search for her Korean family (at least, not right now) because she is fairly certain that she is Korean and African-American. And she is terrified of their reaction were she to find them.


I searched for and found my daughter's Russian family (with the help of a searcher.) I wanted to do it before too much time passed and it may become harder to find them. I am not sure if it was my place to do it. I hope she will be Ok with my decision. We have pictures and video of her family as well as a brief family history which I imagine (although how can I be sure?) will be very important to her. All the best to you whatever you decide!!


Your posts have me thinking about my adoption journey again. What it meant for me to do the search, what motivated me, and what the "aftermath" was. Keep thinking it out. You'll know what to do if you keep thinking it out.


I recently stumbled across your blog and wanted to say Thank you! It is wonderful I am a 30 something Korean Adoptee and stuggle with many of the same issues. You've really made me think. Thanks

Paula O.

Thanks everyone for the kind support. papa2hapa, I think you're right on - I most definitely will keep thinking it out.


Hey, I just started reading. what Adoption agency were you adopted through and you son? (If you don't mind me asking). :D I was adopted through Holt!


Hi Paula, my name is Stacy and Sang-Shil Kim over at "Land of the Not So Calm" suggested I visit your blog. I am also an adult Korean adoptee and adoptive parent. It's nice to know that there is someone else out there who knows what it means to live in this dual-world of adoptee, and AP. There are some pretty powerful messages being sent about being one or the other, but hardly both. Nice to "meet" you, and feel free to visit my blog (which has been painfully neglected over the past year or so). If you scroll down to April 2008, you can see our journey to China for our daughter.

Paula O.

Cassidy - I'm sorry - I don't think I ever answered your question. The agency my parents used is part of a very big, well-known one headquartered out of the west coast. Rhymes with bolt. :)

Hi Stacy. Thanks so much for your comment. Yes, the dual-identity of adoptee and AP is not without its challenges - and it's hard sometimes to explain (to others and oneself) how certain thoughts, feelings and positions on adoption related issues can overlap one another when you're experiencing both truths of both roles.

I took a quick peek at your blog - your family is just beautiful. Anytime you want to chat - feel free to drop me an email. :) Thanks again, p


I've just been reading through your blog and wanted to say here that although I was adopted domestically I can relate to your hesitation to negatively disrupt people's lives when not really knowing why it is exactly that you want to know your biological people. For me, it seems real selfish if I force further contact just out of simple curiosity when my biological mother and her family have so much more to lose.

May I say that searching doesn't necessarily mean one has to make contact. I've done plenty of searching and locating without reunion, which has been interesting!

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