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November 04, 2009



wow Paula, brought me to tears.
I have often wondered/thought about adoptive parents who were threatened by their children's longing/need to be whole...
What is the root of that threatening...
Is it fear? Insecurity? Rejection?
As an AP, I PRAY that I will release all of my children to become whole, even if it means that I find that they reject me, but especially my adopted child(ren). I want him to know that his wholeness is far more important to me than my feelings...


Thank you.

Last night my little 7 year old told me again that she is sad. I knew why. She is missing the unknown. We are working through that but your post reinforced in me the strength to separate my personal feelings from what is best for my girl. She needs to know she can talk about her prior families with me and know it does not hurt me. There may come a day that it does hurt, and when it does I hope I find the right path for us both.

Thank you!


This was beautiful! Thank you for writing, from a fellow adoptee who has felt the same longings you describe.


What a beautiful heartfelt post. Thank you so much for writing what I am sure our children will experience. I hope I can navigate them through with grace : )


What an awesome post. Your daughter was right.....the most important (and hardest!) job is being a mommmy (and daddy). Your words resonated in a different an AP who feels very strongly about my son meeting/becoming part of/whatever that entails his biological family in Korea I have gotten so much .....well anger and disapproval from other AP (mostly from work....older....their kids are adults now) but have frankly just stopped talking about it. I simply do not understand and cannot seem to make people understand why I feel this is so important. I harbor the dream that it will be something my son also wants....we'll see as he ages. He will have his sister by his side of course which I beleive will help a little (for those who don't know me....I'm also a birthmom reunited with my daughter for a few years now....and it is so words to describe it...but the "holes" in all of our lives have been filled). Paula, my wish is for you to find your become whole. Nothing is impossible. Take a don't ever totally give up. U R very, very important!


I just checked back to see if you had updated your blog. I was so happy to see that you have. I am looking forward to reading more. You always make me think.


Ah, Paula, it's ssoooo good to have your voice back online!

Now that both of my kids are off in college and forging their own dreams, I see much more clearly how important it is for them to own them entirely, and for my husband and I to support them unconditionally. I think that's what love is all about, really.


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