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« What is Stopping Us? | Main | Somedays Are Tougher to Fight the Good Fight »

January 24, 2007



Woo hoo hoo!!!!
I'm sitting on the side-lines cheering madly!!!
How relieved you must feel.
YAY for you.
My adoptive parents have both passed away - but even now when I tell my siblings (bio-sibs to adoptive parents) I tell them a day or two after the event - in case I'll sound too excited or too happy.
It's something that's very very hard to explain.
I love them to bits - and they me. I even have an email from my brother (who rarely writes or talks about his innermost feelings) saying how wonderful it is that I've been edging closer to my bio-family - but also always trying to protect me from the possibility of hurt.
I love them so very much for loving me - just for me. But sometimes it's just hard.
Thanks so much for posting this - it's got me thinking lots - and I'm so very happy for your achievements today.
Now - I'll wish hard for some kind of leads in your search.
Hugs (sorry - I ranted!!!)

Paula O.


I"m so sorry for the loss of your adoptive parents. I can only imagine how difficult that is each and every day. (((Chez)))

Thank you for sharing in this excitement with me. :) Yes, it's very difficult to explain. . .it's the epitome of walking that fine line and wanting to protect everyone who we love, including ourselves. I really appreciate all of your support, Chez. And I'm hoping for you, too that you will hear something soon. Very soon.

HUGS to you, :).


I write this with tears in my eyes and hope for your journey. And prayers, lots of them.

Your parents sound like gems. God bless them.

There is so much more I could say . . . but also I can't seem to find the words. This is big stuff, and I so hope, SO hope that you find your heart's desire.


I have shivers from reading your post. It reinforces what I already believe - that we need to do everything we humanly can to understand and support our children.
Reading this made my day.
Thanks for showing me an example of the parent I someday hope to be.
I wish you so much luck in your search!

Paula O.


Thank you for your prayers - they are needed, welcomed and most appreciated. And you are right - my parents are gems. :)


Thank you for taking the time to stop by. It means a lot to know that other APs are reading.

I saw your comment to me on a previous post just last night. I promise to respond to it when I can.

Thank you again,

It's going to be a challenge to find them with such little information, I am so glad that you don't have to deal with the obstacle of your parents not supporting you. I have a lot of respect for your parents for being so positive and generous about your desire to search.

I hope it will go well. How wonderful.


Wonderful, Paula. You and your parents are an inspiration to me.

I wish you success in your search.


You go girl!!

This post makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy to see your excitement, to hear how supportive your parents are.

But sad, too, because you had to question that in the first place. Your history, your first family, your Korea heritage belong to YOU - no adoptee should ever feel uncomfortable claiming that.

Good thoughts going your way.

Paula O.

You are so right, it will be a tremendous challenge. I want to remain hopeful, but at the same time realistic in the knowledge that it could never come to be. Thank you very much for your good wishes.

Rob - thank you for your kind words as well.

Your supportive thoughts sustain me more than you know! Thank you.


Oh Paula. I want to hug your parents even though I don't know them. I am so, so happy for you as you begin this chapter in your life. Praying for a miracle and peace in your heart.


Paula, thanks so much for sharing this with us. I hope that you are successful in finding your parents in Korea, or at least that your journey brings you peace.

I so appreciate you sharing your parents' reaction--what a great model of compassion and support.


Hi, Paula...this is my first comment here, though I have enjoyed reading much else that you've written. I just wanted to pop in and let you know that I'll be thinking of you as you begin your search, and praying that you will be able to find your Korean family. I'm so glad that your family will be there to support you unconditionally in your search. You (and all adoptees) deserve it!


Hi P-

Wow, I am surprised and thrilled for you as you begin this journey. I imagine the deciding part may be the 'hardest' part of the whole process. You sound elated by the decision and/or telling your parents. No doubt that would be hard to do as I, too, fear that they may take it as being rejected; and parents are the last people you want to hurt. I can only imagine how emotional this was for you....

I wonder what it is that made you want to search? No doubt your reasons in this entry are genuine and I certainly know that it isn't because you don't feel like your life isn't full - but I had just thought about my first/biological-mom for the FIRST time about 3 yrs ago. And it was only brief when someone had said something to me and prior to that, I had not even known that such a person existed. And to fully realize there is a mom separate from the one who raised me was overwhelming at the time.

I will be thinking of you .....


This makes me overwhelmingly happy and very sad all at the same time. I am sad that you even have to go through the process BUT I am so entirely relieved that your parents are going to offer you the full support that you deserve! Contratulations! Such courage!


Paula, that is big news. Good luck on your search. I've been looking since 2000. Having the support of your parents is great and I wish you well on your journey.

I remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I told my parents I was going to search. Unfortunately they were not supportive.

Paula O.

Sarah: I really appreciate your support. Thank you.

Sara: My parents have supported and loved me when I needed it most - I am thankful that blessing. Thank you for your encouragement.

Zoe: Thank you for your comment! I am a huge fan of you and Kahlan's.

Nicole: For me, personally, my drive to search for my parents was to learn more about myself. Yes, I feel that my life is full - but yet, as I've gotten older and as I try to seek out as much truth in my life as possible, I want to know myself in the whole totality. And of course, that includes knowing my parents and my beginnings.

We have so much to catch up on - let's talk soon. Thank you. :) p

Mia: Thank you!! The emotions are still running a mile a minute - I know it will be difficult and that I need to expect the worst, yet hope for the best. It's so hard to do.

Jae Ran: I'm so sorry to hear that your parents were not supportive. It's difficult for me to fathom that a parent wouldn't be supportive, yet, here a part of me was still scared to tell them.

I am thinking of you and hope that your continued search yields some information. And hoping and wishing that your parents have a change of heart.


As you gather your strength for this difficult journey I wish you all the best.....peace, wisdom and courage. It takes great courage to take this on. How awesome to have parents that love, support and believe in you. I wish for you another very, very good day.

Paula O.

Thank you, Rose! It's been such a flurry of emotions that right now I think I'm in the "Where do I go from here?" stage. It's already been more emotionally difficult to really process it all than I had previously imagined.

I really appreciate your support. :)


How exciting for you!! I hope you find some good leads. I wish every adoptive parent would read this post. I love how incredibly supportive your adoptive parents are. I LOVE how they validate your feelings. I wish all adoptive parents would be like this. I wish mine were like this. Best of luck!!

Paula O.

Dear Daughterof2women:

Thanks so much for reading and for your encouragement.

I'll be thinking of you and hoping that your (adoptive) parents come around. Thanks again.


Paula, I remember so many of those feelings. I hope that you are able to find what you are looking for. I am proud of you for ignoring society's idea that you owe something to your parents more than you owe it to your self to follow your hearts. Your parents have given you permission to dream big and even better the security of knowing that they are right beside you loving you along the way. Awesome! The only thing I learned that my parents kept secret was my firstmother's last name. My mom claimed I never asked her directly so she never lied. I'm not sure how true that was but it would have been unwise to try to to track her through her maiden name. In my case, it worked out. I will continue to hope and pray that it works out well for you too. Many hugs, Rebecca


Congratulations in your decision! I will pray for your tremendous success and a wonderful outcome in this amazing journey.


As the mother of two sons adopted from Korea, thank you for sharing this important step in your journey. I wish you every success.

I would also like to share this with other adoptive parents.

As editor of the Adoption Australia magazine I would like to obtain permission to reprint your article "A Very, Very Good Day".

Below is some background information:
Adoption Australia is a quarterly magazine produced by the Adoptive
Families Association of the ACT (AFA - for it's members and members of adoptive family support groups in New South Wales (NSW) and South Australia (SA). The magazine is put together by volunteers (me at the moment) and we usually source our articles by asking Australian families, (parents and adoptees) to write articles for us. We also contact Australian and international adoption professionals, adoption authors, adult adoptees and conduct electronic interviews or ask them to write an article on a specific issue or as in this instant we ask the author for permission to reprint.

Paula O.

Belen: Thank you so much for your good wishes - I really appreciate that.

Lesley: Thank you for your email and your kind words. I will contact you soon via email regarding your message.


Hi Paula

I was wondering if you had tried to contact me about my request to reprint, but the email hadn't gone through as my email box was full over the weekend.


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