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« About the Threatening Comments | Main | How I Feel Right Now (Including Changes About Comments To This Blog) »

December 02, 2008



I am shocked, I am sickened and most of all I am so sorry. NO ONE has the right to threaten you and your family. All the best to you.


Oh my word, how frightening! I'm glad the police are taking it seriously.

I'm so sorry you and your family are facing this.

mama d

Paula, You're right: There is no justification for physical threats made against you and your family. After your time of processing, I hope that you feel comfortable speaking your truth in a public forum again. If not, please know that your words and courage have helped me be a better adoptive, Caucasian mom to two (soon, three) Asian children. You have, at many levels, been a role model ... and I thank you.


Shocked doesn't sum up my feelings. I have seen some nasty comments on blogs before, truly ugly things, but NEVER EVER anything like this. It sent chills down my spine. I'm so sorry you had/have to go through this. I thouroughly enjoy your blog, and as an AP, I really appreciate the honesty even if its hard to hear sometimes.



Hi Paula-

I've been reading your blog for a while, though I don't think I've ever commented. I'm a mom to a bio son, a daughter adopted from Vietnam, and a son adopted domestically. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your blog and I'm so very sorry that this has happened to you. I hope that you will find some way to continue to share your perspectives while keeping your family safe.

addie pray

I haven't got around the blogs much lately and had no idea this was going on. What in the world is wrong with people?

I hate that this has happened to you.

I've always enjoyed your blog and know I'm not alone in that. Take care.

Kate MH

As I've said before, much <3 and support goes out to you. Keep spreading your truth...we all got your back! :)


I am so sorry that you have been put through this. I am absolutely stunned that someone would go to such lengths to so cruelly treat you and your family. I hope that there is a permanent resolution to this problem. I hate to think that simply by posting on the internet we can expose ourselves to such terror. Thinking of you and wishing you the best


Hey Paula. I am a long time lurker on your blog. I have two kiddos who were both born in Korea. I have found your blog to be so thought provoking. I am sorry you are going through this and hope this mess gets taken care of. Wishing the best for your family.


Your experience, sadly, serves as a warning to those of us blogging out here and hoping to maintain our own integrity while sharing very intimate thoughts. I, too, had chills reading about the threats made to you and your family. I'm so sorry for you, Paula.


I am so sorry this kind of individual takes pleasure in hurting, scaring and insulting people. There is nothing that can justify this kind of behaviour.
I hope you can find peace again and feel safe again as well as your family.
Your are a wonderful mom and woman and I thank you for everything your write.
Take care dear Paula.

Bobbi Jo

This is awful. I am so sad to hear that such threats have been made to you and your family. Being the mom of two kids adopted from China I have always appreciated your voice and wisdom. Best wishes to you.


*jaw drops*

$%#@. That's just... my god, I'm getting chills down my spine reading that.


I'm so sorry you're going through this.


I too am so sorry that you and your family have had to go through this frightening nonsense. I just can't fathom how anyone could be so cruel. I certainly hope they catch this person soon and prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law.

Thinking of you!!! I'm here if you need anything or even just to vent.

Tonggu Momma

Paula ~ I am so very sorry this happened. It absolutely sickens me. I hope that you feel safe again very soon. I also know that your transparency and wisdom have helped me become a better adoptive, Caucasian mom to my Asian-American daughter. I thank you for that.


That is a horrible, horrible thing to read.

I hope the police will find the author of those threats as soon as possible.

Your blog is very valuable for many of us.


Paula, I am so sorry this has happened. That comment was so creepy it made me want to go double-lock my doors, and it wasn't even directed at me. I cannot imagine how frightening this must be for you and your family.
I have been lurking here for months, as a sibling and cousin to adult Korean adoptees, and I have learned so much from you about how to best support my family members, and just new ways of thinking about adoption in general - you have really opened my eyes. I am sorry I haven't commented before to let you know how much your writing has meant to me. I hope you will keep it up in some fashion, some way that you feel safe with - perhaps write a book?
All the best, Kathy


Wow... just... wow. I hope they have caught and arrested the person who sent you those emails. How scary for you and your family. Please be safe.



This is simply sickening, and I am so sorry.

Denise Roessle

Paula, I too have learned that as anonymous as the Internet seems, it can be a dangerous place, because there are strange and dangerous people out there. Especially creepy because the person went out of her way to research you and your family. Indeed, be careful and I hope the police find this sick woman. I'd hate for you to stop blogging because of this. Peace to you.


Really really awful that someone would do that. And really sad and I hope this will all be sorted out. I am totally repulsed by the idea of somebody leaving creepy comments of that nature. Just wanted to write my support to you and your family. Stay strong.


Wow. That's unbelievable. I really hope it's someone's really bad idea of a joke who'll be scared witless when the police show up at their door. It's so scary that someone can actually find out all that stuff about you through your blog. Makes me have second thoughts about keeping mine up. Good luck, girl.

Chris Clarke

I went through something very similar two years ago. It stinks. I'm sorry the idiots targeted you, and please take care of yourself and your family.


I would be horrified if I got those types of comments. I am very sorry this is happening to you.


I've lurked here (potential AP, which means that your perspective has been really valuable as we consider that decision) - but have never commented, but given what is happening I just wanted to add my support. I'm sure you know that you have a lot of readers, many of whom, like me, don't usually comment, but really value your writing. And we *far* outnumber the crazies. I hope that this $@#% coward is caught and prosecuted, and that you and your family continue to stay safe.


Paula I am so sorry that this happened. I hope that disgusting person is caught thrown in jail. How very frightening. Take care, sending hugs. xx


Wow, scary. I wish you peace and safety.


That is truly horrifying. You and your family are in my prayers for your safety and peace of mind.


I'm so sorry to hear about this.
I hope they catch whoever is threatening you, and that you come back online.
I followed another blog to get here, (my first time here is today) and from the comments about this issue, it seems like this blog was a very thought provoking and honest blog.
Well I'm just starting the international adoption process and I will be a different race than my child and I need to know this stuff you are writing about!
So please come back when you feel safe and put back whatever posts used to be up so I can read them and learn. I feel cheated by this person who is threatening you. A pox on them.


If not in this forum, I pray you never stop using your voice... it needs to be heard in this community and in this world. I cannot tell you how you have helped me, how you have opened up new avenues of thought for me- how you've helped me see the layers and layers of adoption grief and joy, the struggles and challenges that adoptees do and can face. I am on the very brink of bringing my child home from China and am deeply saddened I don't have your archives anymore or that I didn't save all of your posts, put them in a binder, like some book I could pull of my shelf and reference.

But there's an idea. Because trust me. I'd buy it.


hi Paula, you do not know me and I don't think I have commented here before. I am AP to a young child from China. Yours is one of the blogs I learn much from. I am so sorry that this is happening. I have been stalked myself in the past, though it was not for long and not with anything like this level of threat attached.

Crazies do tend to come out at the holiday season, I think.

I wish you the best of luck with the police investigation and of course for your family's safety and happiness. I hope you continue to blog.


I am so sorry this has happened. I appreciate your comments, and thoughts, and have learned much from your blog. While I do believe in the good of most people, this only brings home the sickness and sadness that surrounds us. May you and yours stay safe, and I hope that the person who has facilitated this is brought to justice, and swiftly.


I am disgusted by this. Please know I am thinking good thoughts of you. I am sorry people are so insane sometimes.

Winfield H.

I can't believe someone would go as far as to threaten you. I hope everything works out well and know that the Asian community is behind you, supporting all your efforts!


This is horrible, absolutely horrible, and shame on whoever did this. You've got a gazillion online friends on top of all your friends and family who are with you, Paula. Hang in there.



I am so disgusted by this. I hope a quick resloution occurs to your satisfaction. I have gotten unwanted comments, but they were "making fun of my picture" or the huge bows I put on my daughter (attacks I can take, without fear for the safety of myself and family.)

I am so sorry, I wish I could help you.


Just wanted to say I'm shocked by the comments you received. As an adoptive parent, I have really enjoyed reading your blog. I hope you're able to return, but truly understand if you choose not to. Take care!


I am so sorry that you are going through this.

I just wanted to write because I saw this today and I thought that you might find it interesting

Mary G.

I am so glad you handled this so well.NOT ONE PERSON HAS THE RIGHT TO THREATEN ANOTHER EVER! I will keep writing as time allows, and you my dear, who I have read often, but have rarely posted a comment do the same..


I hadn't heard of your blog until I read about your plight on 'Slant Eye For the Round Eye' - sorry to hear about your problems. I'm a Filipino-American who's been blogging for nearly 8 years and I've never had a problem like this.

I hope they find out whoever it was and prosecute them to the full extent of the law.

Best wishes, and stay safe!


I'm glad you are back, and I'm sorry you had to deal with such a scary situation. You have caused me to do a lot of thinking and soul searching, and I appreciate that.


How horrible, Paula :( I am so sad to read about the threats that have been made against you. I pray that the authorities are able to quickly find the person who has violated your sense of safety.

I have always enjoyed your posts and the way that you express your perspective. While my children are very young, I had been looking forward to the day when I could introduce them to your writings. I think Kris is onto something about you publishing your posts in a book. I know I'd buy it, too.

Take care, and I hope this situation is resolved quickly.

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